PUOTAHNG INA TALAGA O. PUOTAHNG INA TALAGA!!!!!!!!!!! si rosemarie niloloko ako sa phone. di nakakat

PUOTAHNG INA TALAGA O. PUOTAHNG INA TALAGA!!!!!!!!!!! si rosemarie niloloko ako sa phone. di nakakatawa. sinasayang lang niya oras ko. she did not know how she destroyed my good mood because of the compliments i've reaped form ctec class. when the phone rang, oh, here was the prank call again. lava lamps it was from her baby sis i do not know. she has ordered her to call me up, i know. because - and because of my overwhelming STUPIDITY, I KNOW - i told her yesterday that i'm home by this hour, for she called me up to say "hi." since dumating na rin ako sa topic na 'to, let me dig more than a heapful now. la lang. pang - drama lang siguro. wala naman talaga akong masyadong kaibigan e. si jona, ewan ko kung friend ko talaga yon. okay, so siguro friend ko siya, at this point in time. and if that's lava lamps the case then siya lang ang friend ko. "FRIEND". it's quite normal for me now to just shrug off the word as if it doesn't really exist in my life. (i mean, i know it really DOES NOT, anyway). and for a LOOOONG time i've never had a friend. well, maybe just companions. but not friends. fair-weathered friends, pwede pa. our computer lava lamps is my best friend. i'm always lava lamps in front of this machine, and i don't care about other things when i'm in front of it. i'm always happy to be home. you know, back in first year college when schedules were good, i'd come home early all the time. and i'd head straight to our computer when i'd be surfing all day. that's my life, really. i don't go out with classmates to eat (WHY SHOULD I? that would be just a waste of time. aside from the fact that our more than eighteen year - apartment is only quite a stone's throw away, i don't want to waste money on fastfood stuff. I'D RATHER "WASTE" MY MOM'S HARD-EARNED BUCKS ON INTERNET CARDS). so that was my life back then. and it still is. but i would like to have friends. of course i do. someone like JONA. i felt appreciated when she told me last week i'm her closest friend. pero feeling ko ngayon-ngayon lang 'to. di pa nga siya tumatawag kahapon eh. sabi niya tatawag siya. ganon naman yon eh. maybe she's getting sick and tired of me na. siguro feeling niya wala akong "friends" sa cfad kaya nagc-cling ako sa kanya. i would like to have friends around me. i envy people who still have their childhood friends for ten, twenty years. it seems like they've known each other inside out that they're getting tired of each other's smells. i want to have a band. you know, some j-rock, alternative. and then we'd be hanging around together. lava lamps boozing, having fun. and not here, alone. although i admit i like being here alone with my best friend. but someday, i'd like to get out of here. date - july 12, 2004. monday. posted by togusa at 1:00 PM